Certified Tricks to Get Past Burnout

Episode Transcription

Season 3 Chapter 3

Welcome to Design Speaks, we’re here to empower you to unlock your own inspiration so you can take control of your creativity. I’m your host. Brandi Sea joining me is my cohost Julie Heider. This week, we’re going to be talking about mindset and burnout. So stay tuned for that. Coming up later in the show.

hi, Julie. Hello, Brandi. It’s so good to be back. It feels like it’s been way longer than what, like three, three months. Do we take off three months? I guess it’s three months. Yeah,

well, right now life in general feels like I’m like something, something happened like a couple months ago and I’m like, no, if that was just a week ago.

Yeah. It’s so crazy. I see how like staying in the same place all the time. Just makes time go from this to like yeah. Shrinks the concept

of like what day it is. Except for Friday. I remember

Fridays. Why, why do you remember Fridays? Cause it’s almost Saturday. I remember Fridays because Fridays are the day I get to work cause Kenny’s off.

And so I get to work all day. So, um, I do look forward to Fridays though, because, uh, it takes away. It takes me away from it’s gonna sound terrible. It takes me away from my family, but like in a way that like I get to just do my work and like be like office. Owner business lady, Brandi, instead of everything else.

So, um, so this year has been like crazy. And since we left, I’ve been super busy with like the holidays and the new year and whether the new year even felt like a new year and, um, like getting my course launched and stuff, which I’m super excited about. And I won’t go in it. Any detail here cause people know about it already and I’m going to make a little commercial and all that stuff.

But, um, I do have a confession to make. So for the first time, in like six years, I have not written down any goals for the year. And so, um, I feel like that’s terrible, but um, yeah, sometimes just

living life is a goal enough.

Yeah. So, um, today we’re going to be talking about. You tell me and who are we talking to?

Yes.

Okay. We’re going to be talking with Erin from peace and Daley. Um, she is a mindset and business coach that works with female entrepreneurs. And I actually just finished doing a 90 day coaching session with her specifically about, um, burnout and how to avoid it, which, um, right now is in a way kind of my slow season.

So this was like prep for when life is super

crazy. Possibly burnout.

Yeah, definitely. Um, yeah, so I just finished that. It was amazing. Um, I won’t talk too much about it just yet, cause I’m sure we’ll want to talk to Erin about everything, but, um, it was an awesome experience and I thought that she would be really great to bring on here.

Um, because I think last season we talked a little bit about, about burnout and kind of. Why it happens to us, especially as millennials, but, um, now the question is how do we avoid it?

Yeah, I’ve got to say I’ve been on the edge of burnout. I feel like on the edge. I don’t know. It’s possible. We can ask Erin wake what burnout is.

Cause I may have been in burnout and just thought it was on the edge over like over the last year. Probably more than I ever have in my whole life. Like combined, just feeling like I’m just teetering on the edge. So I’m really excited to talk to Erin, but first I need to ask you what you have been up to before we move on, because everyone wants to know what Julie’s been up to for the last time three months.

Um, let’s see. I mean, kind of just getting ready for the new year. I did make some goals this year, um, and. Also just kind of like, um, I’ve been going really hard working to kind of like, um, reset some stuff in my business, like doing an overhaul on my website copy and, um, just different things like that. Um, and then I’m also kind of planting a garden for this year is starting to feel spring ish.

So I’m excited for that.

Um, like food garden. But, yeah. And then I’m going to do some

wildfires this year too, because I need more bees in my yard.

Yeah. It does help our, we have, um, we have our vegetable garden just below our flower garden. And so it, we get our veggies are like awesome sometimes too much.

And we can’t get them all because we don’t eat veggies that fast, but yeah, it’s totally a good strategy.

Yeah. Yeah. Um, so what has been inspiring you lately?

Brandi? So. Lately running, because apparently I have turned into a person who runs and that is just as surprising to me as it is to anyone else. So I’ve always been like very into sports and stuff, but I’ve, I used to always say like, why do people just run?

Like there’s no, there’s no like finish line and there’s. There’s like no reward, like basketball where you like, can possibly block a shot or make a basket or something. And for volleyball, like you’re running around for a purpose, but why do people just run since the pandemic I run for my sanity. It’s like the goal is.

Like clarity of mind because of burnout. Like, because of this overwhelming feeling of whatever, like, I can never even like put my finger on, like what’s overwhelming me sometimes. I’m just like, I’m so overwhelmed. So, um, so running has been very inspiring to me. I get to for the 30 ish minutes that I get to myself, um, get out of the house, even though I’m just going like right outside to the trail, that’s near me.

Um, I get out super early, like bef like right at sunrise. And so, like, it was not inspired by sunrise. And even though I’ve run at like 14 degrees, which did not feel good on it, my lungs, by the way, but it’s like the fresh air and you know, me, I’m always looking at things differently and like finding interesting textures and finding Lake ice on leaves and, um, just watching my own feet go somewhere.

Like takes me away for a little bit, because we’re so cooped up and like, as you and I are both like huge travel people, it just like makes me feel like I’m getting somewhere. Um, something that I don’t feel when I’m like riding my stationary bike, or I wouldn’t feel like on a treadmill, it’s like, I’m still sort of running the same trail, but I’m outside and I’m doing it.

So that’s been very like uplifting and motivating to me.

We got to call for them this week. I have been listening to a song called favorite liar by the wrecks, this song. Isn’t exactly uplifting. It’s kind of, I’m pretty sure it’s like about someone. Who has a person in their life. Who’s like cheating on them. I’m lying to them. And it’s kind of terrible, but I actually just really can’t resist the vibe of the song.

Like I’m a sucker for songs that start out really slow and then like amp up in energy and then slow and an amp up and energy. Uh, maybe that’s cause it’s like how I am just in life. And I’ve been, as you heard running a lot lately. And so this song like helps me, um, have those like. Chill like jog rest time and then like sprint moments so that I can like really get into the groove of the run and stuff.

I’ve just been listening to it a lot. And I wanted to share it with you guys, even though the lyrics or sort of questionable as far as like things that I feel strongly about or not. But yeah, it’s a really fun song and I hope that you’ll, you’ll check it out. You can find all the musical inspiration that I share here on Spotify.

On the playlist music from design speaks podcasts. And, uh, all the songs I’ve ever featured on here, um, are there. And it’s a really great, amazing, I don’t know what to listen to. So let’s listen to this kind of playlist.

let’s go ahead and talk to Erin. So welcome to design speaks. Aaron. I’m so excited that you’re here. When Julie told me about what she’s been doing with you, it was like, okay, people need to hear this. So welcome.

Thanks for having me guys. Yeah.

So I don’t know if Julie wants to start this convo off. I’m just kinda, kinda sit back and like interject when needed.

Um, well, I think Brandi kind of asked a good question in the beginning, which is what is burnout? Like how do you know when you’re either getting close or you’re there?

Oh, yeah. I can speak to this very clearly because I experienced it like hardcore for many years. Um, like burnout is basically waking up.

You just don’t have any enjoyment. You don’t see any like possibility for like excitement in your day. And. Just what used to excite you doesn’t anymore. Um, I have been in design for 14 plus years at this point, which seems crazy to me

20 years here. I hear ya.

Like I was waking up, I used to excite me. I used to have an Etsy shop.

I used to blog, I stopped all of those because it started to feel more like work than fun. And that’s when you know that, that any of those things that used to. You able to give you enjoyment, they just don’t anymore. So that’s like the first signal of burnout. And then now it can just start those, like physically change you as well.

So,

Maybe we’re going to get there. Maybe I’m jumping the gun on, on this conversation, but so a lot of times when people feel that feeling, right, like I’m just not enjoying this anymore. They just go, I think I better just do something different. Like maybe this isn’t my calling. Maybe I’m not supposed to be a designer or an artist or an illustrator or a writer or whatever it is.

Um, is that true or does that just mean that you like, just need a reset to get to a place where you can still enjoy the things that you’ve enjoyed for so many years? For

me, it’s just a full reset. So I’m one of those people that, um, I realized in through like the inner work that I was doing, realize that I was doing the job of design out of a need to get validation from my parents.

Hmm. So I realized that design, it was still a part of myself, right? Like I went through this whole journey of like, Oh no, I asked myself that question. Like, do I even like doing this anymore and realized like, Went into that like identity crisis. It’s like, Oh God, if I’m not a creative, then who am I? And I moved into coaching because I finally realized and recognized like, Oh my God, I’ve been doing this forever.

I just not being, getting paid for it. Like all of my friends always come to me for, for like this type of talk and, um, advice. So it became like a natural fit, but I realized that I’m still a creative, I still like doing websites and. Making logos and doing business cards and all that type of stuff. And that enjoyment came back to me when I separated responsibility from it.

That’s really interesting. So for you, it was a, it was kind of a reset to do something different and use the design as like. Like your, I won’t say hobby because it’s obviously, probably still something you get paid for, but more of an adjacent thing, as opposed to like your primary thing. Whereas, um, some creatives could do a reset and just get back to a place where they love what they’re actually still doing and stay doing the same thing.

So it kind of looks different for everyone. Yeah.

I mean, everybody’s unique and everyone’s different. Um, so I always felt like, Oh wow. You know, that imposter syndrome that like, come in like, Oh wow. They just do like, so into it. They’re looking at all the podcasts, all the blogs. They’re trying to keep up with everything.

And I had gotten to the point where I wasn’t doing any of that. I like didn’t care. So that’s how I realized. That set the creative side of me. I’m still creative. It’s just not to the same level as those other people. And that’s totally fine. So for someone like that, it’s like, it’s your life and it’s absolutely everything.

Then just switch. Switch roles a little bit, and you are still that, but how can you add more of something unrelated into your life? That is just something that you can play with for me, I needed to take a larger step back and just like, not even do design, actually hired a designer to do some stuff for me it’s cause it like at one point was like, it’s going to be amazing, but it’s just done for me.

So I hired someone to do some work for me and not do it at all. Yeah, that’s nice too.

Um, I think as for me, a lot of times burnout comes to like, I am still doing the things that I love, but it just feels super overwhelming or, um, I just feel really tired and yeah, like. Temporarily. I’m like, I don’t really want to do this, even though it’s something that I do enjoy.

And it’s part of like the process of, um, doing the things that I love in my business, but it’s just like so much on me at that moment that I just like, want to walk away from it again, temporarily. Um, but yeah. Yeah. Yep. I think it can look different for everybody.

It does. Cause I was just, I going to say, like, I think burnout for me is almost never about the actual, like creating and like the inspiring and all of that stuff.

For me as a business owner, um, my burnout comes from the things that I have to do that aren’t creative. So like the planning for meetings or the. Tax things. I have to log to make sure that like I’m doing my expenses and sending invoices. We just finished ours off, off the table and think, thank God for Kenny.

That was all him. But, um, like stuff like that. Makes me feel really overwhelmed. And when I’m really overwhelmed, I just like want to do nothing like yesterday. I had so many things to do, like to plan for this this day. Cause Julia and I are recording three episodes today and I have a strategy thing I have to finish that is working in like some StoryBrand stuff that I’ve been incorporating in with my clients.

And so like last night I literally was like, I’m just going to play animal crossing. Because I’m procrastinating. And I feel like maybe that could be a sign. I don’t know. Erin, what do you think? That’s

definitely a sign when you have like that much overwhelmed that you just like, I would call it my show hole.

I would go into my show hole and just like binge watching Netflix or something on there, or play animal crossing, just like yo. So like when it’s so overwhelming that you don’t like it, you don’t even know where to start. Yeah, that’s it. That’s a huge sign of the burnout that the overwhelm will lead to burnout and burnout can lead to depression.

So overwhelm isn’t the burnout overwhelm is your, your like warning sign that the burnout is coming. Okay. That’s good to know. So now that we know that we’re overwhelmed slash already burning out, what, what do we do? How do we deal if we are already in burnout mode?

If you are already in burnout. It’s okay.

To like, stop and reflect on, like, what is the biggest thing that you think is causing you burnout? And we try to think of this from your gut, not your head. So like what’s the first thing that comes to mind. Right. And that’s typically the right one to do something about, if it’s bringing, giving you stress, causing you stress in some way, um, how can you create a boundary around it?

How can you bring more of what you. You love Intuit, like what’s missing, or if, even ask yourself the question, like, am I putting too high of an expectation on myself? Always? And this was something that Julia and I worked on a lot. Yeah. She’s all.

Don’t don’t bring me out to the product case study.

Yeah, it wasn’t wasn’t my clients or anything.

It was totally me like wanting things to be perfect. And, and I was causing my own issues, so

they all do that. So if that stems from like a societal expectation, things that were taught to us from our caregivers, our parents through school, through our teachers, through, through our jobs, like we’ve been programmed.

All of our lives. Like I’m 34, I’ve been programmed for 34 years to, to want to succeed. But what does success actually mean? So like, everything has led us to this point where we put extremely high expectations on ourselves because we don’t want to disappoint people from our past. But we’re not honoring who we are in the present moment and what we need.

And especially from like what I call 2020 now. And you’d

like

to.

It needs to look a lot different than what it’s looked like in the past. And I was burnt out from 2017 to 2020. Um, so it wasn’t just the pandemic for me. It was just the expectations of typically everyday life. I was working in corporate at the time, I’m driving an hour each way to work. And I felt like I didn’t have a life.

Ever. So I found I was irritated by everything. Um, I basically had a negative mindset, so everything that I saw validated that idea and that concept, that everything in life is hard. But when I started to switch that mindset of like, well, not everything needs to be hard. I need to honor myself. First of like, be kinder to myself.

How can I be kinder to myself in this moment and give myself what I need and actually practice. Self-love not just self care. Um, then I started to see things that validated those, that positive mindset.

So. A few things that I like think about. So, um, I’m guessing that you, you are into the Enneagram, you know, about the Enneagram, Julie and me,

not as much as Brandi, really the one that has made it happen for

me.

So for quick recap, on, on Brandi Brandi, isn’t any, Agram three hardcore Enneagram, three wing four, which is basically the achiever and the artist. And so. Excuse me. It’s really hard for me to not see. So I have, since my lung collapsed in 2018, I have embraced the self care and like the importance of rest.

However, like, because I’m always trying to like achieve something it’s and it’s classically Enneagram threes want to achieve to impress others. But I also know that a lot of it is like, To live up to my own, like to impress myself, like to outdo myself, I enjoy rock climbing because I can do better than I did last time.

And I’m not in competition with anyone, but me. And so like, my career is the same. And so during, during 2020, I was like up and down between like, okay, it’s okay. Like this is an overwhelming time. It’s all right. To like, Live with it, chill out, like play animal crossing, not work and do stuff. But then the other side of my brain starts telling me you’re using it as a crutch.

Like it’s not always an excuse. So where like, where is actually the line? I have a hard time figuring out the line. And I know a lot of other people do between like resting and self care and self love and all of this stuff. And using these things as an excuse, like. Well, but 2020 is just really overwhelming.

So I don’t really have to do anything as opposed to like, okay, maybe I can be a little bit of an overcomer. And like, I changed my mindset and see that like, yes, this is overwhelming, but I can also still get some things done and do some things and achieve some things. So like, where is the balance of those things?

Hmm.

I think it’s a hard one to answer cause it’s, it’s different for everybody. And it’s something that you have to be like radically honest with yourself of what that line is. Um, but what I’ve been doing is basically get up in the morning and ask yourself, what am I feeling today? Like really check in.

With how you are. And if you’re feeling like I have so many things on my to do list, like I don’t even know where to start. Just pick three, great, like three things that you can do that day. Um, So you’re not trying to put all of this on yourself and if it affects like recording a podcast, is it something that you could reach out to people and push back a day or, or like reach out to your clients if it’s a deadline that you had and be like, okay, You could fit a little and be like, I just, I had this really great idea at the last minute.

I really want to explore it more. Um, would that be okay with you? Here’s what I’ve done so far or something like that. Um, so it’s, it’s typically like this fear that we have of, um, of not for you, probably not achieving this goal that you set out for yourself. Um, but. And that was the expectation. Did you put that expectation on yourself or is it something that like really is expected of you from someone else at the time?

And is this something that you could push day? Because one day isn’t going to make a huge difference to the end

result. Yeah. So I actually, um, I have started implementing the top three thing, um, because my list has always everybody, especially entrepreneurs, it’s like a new day, a new thing to add to your list.

It’s like, Oh yeah, I forgot that. And this is real currently my website email address, just isn’t working great. Now, how long am I going to have to spend with like tech support to figure out why that’s happening? And so it’s like, okay, but is that the most important thing? Maybe not. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Prioritize like, think about like, what’s the result that you want from the day. Is this something that’s really going to get you further with the main goal that you have in life? Or is it, Oh, my email. Just not working on me, my website. Well, how many people email me in a day from my website? Could that be pushed a couple of days?

Probably. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think one of the main things, um, when I did do the 90 day coaching with Aaron was just being more aware of things like now I can, I think I have a better ability of, of realizing when I do need time and when I’m, um, feeling over versus feeling overwhelmed and running away from things, um, because I’m just more aware of things.

Um, How I’m feeling about them, where things are actually at, you know, like truly not just like my perception again, with like my, um, you know, the deadlines that I’m making and stuff like that, but like really, and truly what is necessary and what is not. And, um, I think that I have been more productive in the last few months because, um, Because I’m okay.

And know when it’s a good time to just step away for even just, you know, half an hour or something like that. Um, and so when I do come back, I’m more ready to, to get in, in my mind. Isn’t a better place for that. Um, I know Randy, you mentioned like all the things that we don’t love about being an entrepreneur, like.

Doing taxes and stuff like that. The stuff that doesn’t really fulfill his

creativity, our fire. Yeah. It’s the water on the

fire?

Sorry, I’m just getting carried away over here as always,

um, in our coaching, you worked with me a lot of like how to deal with those tasks of sort of balancing them out with good things in your life.

Um, and so would you want to talk about. How to deal with the stuff you don’t want to do that you have to do?

Yeah. We always have responsibility. So it’s like, can you, is that something that you have the availability to outsource and just like offload to someone else? Cause that’s totally an option because that’s always a concept of like, how are you investing in something you’re always investing with like either finances, time or resources.

So we always think of like, money. I don’t really want to pay for that thing, but you’re losing your time doing it and your energy, because if it’s like a very tablet, no pun intended, but if it’s a really tight, yeah, you’re going to be drained for the rest of the day. Maybe it’s worth. Paying someone else to do it and having that energy for yourself and that time back for yourself to put into something.

And then what Julie’s talking about is, um, built and awareness for her to actually understand, like, what are the tasks in her day? That drain her energy versus give her energy. And we really built, like we built a nourishment menu for her so that she knows what the things are that she enjoys doing. And I think it was like, Getting a cup of tea, but she showed on her Instagram, like all of the, she, she has

and money on that. So like just going and grabbing a cup of tea, put on some music. If that’s something that like really nourishes you, um, could you walk away and take a bath for 30 minutes? Probably it would be. More than 30 minutes, probably more than an hour. You gotta fill up the basket. That’s insulted, like make a nice soak for 30, but you know what nourishes you, what gives you energy?

So Brandi, maybe it’s like go put on some tennis shoes and go for a running for 15 minutes. Just get out of the house for 15 minutes when you’re starting to feel overwhelmed. And like you’re procrastinating, you had that urge to pick up animal crossing. Just go put on tennis shoes instead of like go for a quick run or a walk around the block and see how, see how that makes you feel, because it may give you energy and that clarity of like, well, what’s the first task I want to.

Yeah, literally yesterday, um, my husband was doing some stuff cause he’s obviously working from home too. He was doing some stuff downstairs and came upstairs and I was sitting on the couch with the animal crossing and he walked up and I said, nice to meet you and shook his hand. And he like looked at me really weird.

And I said, I’m procrastinating. It was just like, okay. So it was like, I know I’m doing it. I’m fully aware of what’s happening. It’s not like I’m fooling myself into thinking, like, I don’t know, but yeah, having, having that awareness to go, okay, I know I’m procrastinating, but how do I like get out? How do I pull out of it?

Because nothing I was doing is working. Like I tried moving, moving from upstairs to downstairs. I moved out of my office because even though my office is literally like, The most inspiring place in my house, I was like, okay, well maybe if I work in a different spot, like, cause I need to do this work, but it was like nothing, nothing I did was helping.

So, um, understanding what things kind of pull you out of that mentally is a really good tip for sure.

Yeah. That’s cause like we make plans for like, if we’re in debt, we make a plan on how to get out of debt and like what, we’re not going to spend our money on, but we don’t do the same for our time and our energy.

So if we make the game plan of how to get ourselves out of that energy deficit, then that’s, that’s really like huge. Cause we made a plan for it and we’re building our awareness around it. Which

is funny. Now, go ahead. I’ll I’ll continue to say it. You go ahead.

It’s giving you brain like a chance to rest too, and for it to reset and also, um, When you, do you have a plan?

Like, so earlier this week there was something that I kind of didn’t want to do. Cause I just knew it was going to be like a time consuming task, not necessarily the most fun thing, but it really needed to be done. Um, but I used some things off of my little like menu, um, to do, to make it like, okay, I can do this.

Like I’m going to get started. It’s going to be fine. And it was actually such a leaf because it wasn’t like constantly weighing on my brain of like, you need to do this. Okay. You still need to do this. Like we’re running out of time. You need to do the sync. Like, so that I think probably is, um, contributing to our like mental fatigue and burnout too is just that like, something is hanging over your head and you’re like, I really don’t want to do that, but I have to

it’s Chinese water torture.

It’s just like the drop one drop at a time all the time. There’s always something. I was just going to say. It’s, it’s interesting to me that, like, I struggle with this lately because as Julie knows, and as long time listeners of this podcast know, I am all about like planning and setting up processes for everything and like not waiting for inspiration to hit you to have a plan and a way to just go out and get inspired.

And. Take control of that. And so to be able to take control of overcoming procrastination and avoiding burnout seems obvious, but sometimes it just takes someone else going, Hey, you probably need a plan for that. Right.

Exactly. And like the other thing that, um, Like Julia triggered a thought for me was like, when we’re in that negative mindset of, like you said yesterday, you tried changing different rooms.

Cause you kept saying like, I need, I need to do this work. I need to do it needs to happen today. When we do, we tell ourselves like a need to do this, or we shoulda, coulda, woulda, or I heard someone say it as like, you’re shitting all over yourself, which I love doing it. I forget who said it. I love it. So if you’re like shooting all over yourself, I should do this.

I need to do this. You’re triggering your fight flight or freeze mode. And when our brain is in that fight flight or freeze, it’s actually. Which one of the is the sympathetic nervous system is triggered, which brain to body connection is telling your body that there’s danger. So your body is actually going to physiologically change and how it’s like using up the energy and food sources and oxygen.

So that’s why had a much harder time pulling yourself out of that, that feeling because your brain is saying there’s still danger. So, if you can get yourself and trigger your parasympathetic nervous system, which is like your rest and digest your feel and heal response, then you can still be productive, but your body is actually operating from a more relaxed space and using that energy and that creativity more efficiently.

So. If that’s the case, like what’s, what’s the brain hack then. So if something does need, we do, you know, we have to, it should get done. Like if those kinds of words are sending you into a place where that’s not likely to get done because of what happens, like what are some better words to replace? Like I need to plan for the podcast, or I should use this time to prep for my next client meeting.

Like. What are some better ways of approaching those? You know? And honestly, like, it makes me think of why my kids fight me every time I tell them they need to clean their room. So this is also like double how does this work?

Yeah. So if I want to, I want to take this time to plan this because it will make.

Something easier for me in the future, I will feel more relaxed. I want to feel accomplishment at the end of the day. So, and that’s part of like setting up your intention for your day is not just write those three to do list items. Like I need to do this. I need to do that. I need to do this. It’s what’s the intention of how I want to feel.

Through the day, maybe it’s joy flow freedom. If you’re sitting and doing taxes, I’ll just keep using that, um, little hanging fruit. I’m really not feeling freedom. So how can you make yourself feel like you have some freedom while you’re doing it and it it’s going to be different for everybody. So for me, maybe it would be like, Because I’m very outdoorsy as well.

Um, I’ll get to like this portion of the taxes done, and then I’m going to go take a look. So the little reward. Yeah, yeah. Little rewards through the day, actually plan time for yourself. Like schedule that appointment. It’s an appointment that you can’t miss for yourself. Um, cause we schedule appointments and meetings with others all the time and we don’t miss them, but we self betray when we miss those meetings for ourselves.

Um, so when we can give ourselves that time that we know we need, we can be better equipped to handle stuff and actually be more productive.

It’s a really hard thing to do, especially, um, especially for people like myself and even more. So people that have more kids than I do, but like that. Feel guilty, like taking that time.

It’s like, okay. Yes. We just spent six to eight hours together doing homeschool, but also now dinner needs to get done. And setting aside time for me feels selfish because I haven’t actually even spent quality time with my kids or my husband. So how do you, how do you like figure out. How to approach those things when there’s so much that actually does quote, unquote, need your attention, um, without how do you change your mindset so that you don’t feel so, um, like out of touch, like I know I haven’t seen you guys or done anything with you all day, but mommy’s going to go over here and ignore everybody for 30 minutes.

Like, and I have done it and I do it sometimes, but I, I always feel guilty about it. Like always, unless I’m running before Dawn. Cause no one’s awake. So I can’t feel guilty cause I’m not ignoring anyone.

So yeah, if you’re feeling that guilt, that’s like that negative thing, you’re literally fighting against yourself.

So even that time that you give to yourself, it’s not as like, as fulfilling as it could be because you’re still having that like, Oh, well I should be spending this time, quality time with my family. So the way to think about that one is like, like, Again, pre-programmed, especially as women that we’re supposed to be either to take care of everybody, especially as a mom, like that’s like the definition of a mom is that the mom nurtures and takes care of the kids in the family.

But how can you divide the labor up? Because we’re in a period of time that like, I think we forget get how far we’ve come, how far, like our mindset really hasn’t shifted around the way that women take care of families. Like how many women are in the workplace? Like it was our, my mom was a secretary and that was crazy, like one generation back.

Right. So the amount of women that are working these days and. Like the D the time demand and how we’re still asked, like, you know, during job interviews, do you have kids, but husbands had never asked that question. So to think of that and be kind to yourself that like, you’re still fighting a ton of pre-programming and societal expectations on you, but recognize that like, um, like giving to yourself first.

Right. Like put that option mask on yourself first. Yeah, totally can. Every single day life is, is how you can actually be a better person to your husband and your kids because you’ll be coming from a better place.

Yeah, totally. And I’m very, I am very blessed like, uh, Kenny and my husband, he he’s working at home too, but like, He will gladly cook dinner and things like that, but then it’s not even, like you say, it’s stuff we put on ourselves, right?

Like he’s not making me feel guilty for needing to go take an hour in the bath or go for a run or something. It’s definitely like, I just feel like, do I need to be doing this right now? Because I could probably be like playing chess with my kiddo or like doing something else. So, yeah, that’s a good reminder.

And I know that I definitely go through seasons where I’m like, I’m sorry, mama needs break. And sometimes where I’m like, Oh, but there are only this age for so long and I’m going to miss something if I’m out running every day and it’s kind of ridiculous, right?

Yep. I mean, but everybody has this feeling like we’re humans and we all have that shared experience of those expectations.

So yeah. That’s part of human. So that’s where like resiliency comes in of just starting to have that awareness and build that awareness because. Like even doing mindset work doesn’t mean that you’re going to have Nirvana, right. 100% of the time you’re going to have those feelings of guilt of procrastination, imposter syndrome.

You’re going to feel them no matter how awesome you are. Like Tony Robins probably has imposter syndrome from time to time.

Sure. Yeah. That’s probably part of why he does what he does.

But then at some point, like, You can snap yourself out of it, maybe in two minutes versus two weeks.

Yeah. So what are, what are some, so a lot of this kind of applies to people like Julia and I, right.

Who like run our own business and, um, work at home. And like right now during the pandemic are homeschooling full-time and also sharing an office with your partner and stuff like that. But what about people that like work in-house or like for a company, right. And maybe. You are feeling like you’re getting burnt out, but maybe you don’t have the option to say, you know what?

I really just need an extra day on this because you don’t like, what do you, what, what do you have like for, for people that are in those situations that maybe don’t have the quote unquote like luxury to like push things off. And these need to have to sheds are actually need to have two sheds or you will lose your job type of things.

And that is, that’s a hard one. I had to leave corporate because of those reasons. I just recognize in myself, like that’s not what I can deal with anymore. Um, but for people that are in those situations, are you the person that’s, that’s able to give, like the timeline of like, Oh, well this will take me this long.

Um, cause when I worked in. Uh, in management position on a creative team, a lot of my people would be like, Oh yeah, I could do that in a day. I’d be like, are you sure? Like bumped that up just in case

you’d be like,

it’s like a part of the culture, right. You want to do really good. You want to be like recognized and have that, that feeling of achievement, um, from your, from your company and from your managers. But a lot of times it’s like, how can you be more realistic? Because if you’re giving them timelines that are like rockstar timelines all the time, um, that’s one place to like cut back on the expectation a little bit.

And just be honest with your manager have open communication with your manager. Like, I have a feeling like it’s not like I’m trying to procrastinate, but I’m having that feeling. Come up. So I think I just need to like extend timelines for a little bit so that I can like more time to be creative because my, my mental state is probably just not right in the right spot right now.

So I think, um, Depending upon your company, how comfortable you feel having that type of a conversation with your, with your manager? Um, I think we really need to get to a point where we’re more comfortable having those conversations and not feeling bad saying like, I’m not a hundred percent right now because we’re not robots.

We shouldn’t be expected to be. Right. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. And I think, um, I was actually talking with my husband about this the other day, um, about a past job where, um, I would sometimes need to go to some sort of work related thing for lunch, like. A meal was being served, but I was still working and then my boss would get really upset when I would take a lunch break when I got back.

And I was like, it’s not about eating food. It’s about, I need a mental break or else I can’t do my job well. And just, um, I think like, It’s so important. Like when we are working from home or setting our own schedule as a business owners, like, then you can recognize that and be like, okay, I need to have this break, but I think, um, The world is kind of telling us, like, no, you just need to keep working, working, working, working, and that’s not healthy and that’s not going to get the best results.

So stepping back and taking time off, even though it seems like, Oh, I’m not working as much time. That’s not going to be as efficient. Um, or, you know, like it just is ingrained in us that more time equals better results. And that’s just not true.

Yeah. Quantity, quantity does not always equal quality. Um, you know, depending on the context, obviously.

Yeah. But, um, cause I think it does in certain other contexts, we’re not talking about that today. We have an episode on that. Oh, hold on. Something’s going on with my internet? Just give me one second.

Yeah.

So yeah, I think, I think that’s a good point, Julie. Um, so, Oh, it says my internet is unstable. Can you guys still hear me?

Yeah. You froze for a second. Okay. Hang on one second. Let me just check this. Okay. I think we’re good. Make sure we’re still recording. Okay. Anyways. Yeah. So I think that’s really important because, um, there are a lot of times where when, you know, and when I first graduated from college, I went straight almost entirely into a art director, creative director position after six months after graduating.

And so I’ve only ever really I’ve honestly only ever been in charge of creatives. I’ve never really been under like. Someone. So I’ve always been the one to set those. Those things. And so I think it’s good to know to be realistic when you are leading creatives, but also to be realistic with yourself, because I know that, um, even though I did have a supervisor, it wasn’t like an art director supervisor.

It was like a project manager type person coming to me and saying like, Hey, we need this by this time. I had to have those same conversations to be like, that’s not really realistic. Like this takes this long things, take time to be printed. Like we have to leave time for approvals and proofs and like all the things.

Um, so to be self-aware in your own skills too is really important right now you can actually. What you can actually achieve and not always have the fake it till you make it and be like, yeah, totally. I can definitely do that.

Yeah. Yeah. And I, I think, especially in like management positions, as well as like to advocate for your team, um, So like have those one-on-one conversations with them to recognize like where they’re at in this time, not just talk about like, how’s the production going, having met all your deadlines.

It’s literally just to have like the conversation of how are you feeling? How are you doing? How’s like this type of project working. Is there any frustrations, like really get to know how they’re feeling and recognize like, Oh, they might be, they might need some extra time to work on this type of thing.

And just advocate for them in the moment as well, because sometimes they’re not in a place where they’re ready and able to advocate for themselves at that point. Um, because they have their own limiting beliefs of like, no, I need to get this done. And I need to hustle to like achieve, um, when really that’s not realistic.

Like we just said,

definitely. Yeah. Yeah. Um, well, I feel like we could literally talk all day about this because like I had 90 days of this with Aaron and it was really amazing. So I highly encourage everybody listening. Um, if you feel like. You are on the brink of burnout or you experienced burnout, which I’m just going to go ahead and say that’s probably okay.

Um, or you’re living in burnout right now? Yes.

Yes. Um, I highly highly rated and doing this coaching session with Aaron because it just, um, it was far beyond what I expected it to be in. It’s a great mixture of like mindset changes and, um, and also just like practical tips of things to do when you’re in that moment or when you’re feeling close to that moment of burnout.

So, um, Erin, will you tell us where we can find you?

Yeah, absolutely. I can be found on Instagram. Instagram is my jam at Keith and daily and it’s just all one word. All spelled

out. And also she has videos of her dog thin, and you definitely went to go watch them. He started a business and you can

watch. So spendings with dog, you were talking about in the beginning of our pre recording conversation, everything’s shifted completely in my brain on how I be that conversation now.

He’s a scope management manager. So he’s an FMM, um, managing managers. So the people that give him scoops, which is food,

I know, right? Oh my gosh. My dog wants that job too. Well, Erin, thank you so much for being here. I think that the value that you are going to offer people just in this podcast is like, Above and beyond.

And I hope that, um, that people have gotten a lot out of it and that they will contact you to really do like more of this like deep dive one-on-one because like you said, some of this is pretty general, but a lot of this is going to be very specific to like our own personalities, our own habits, our own mindsets and, um, environments and things like that.

And that’s really only something as a coach of creatives in a different way that I know, you know, You can only do so much on a general level and you can really help people so much more on a one-on-one basis. So, um, thank you, you for sharing so much free knowledge here with us today, I’m super grateful that you are here.

No problem. I’m grateful you guys had me on here and yeah, anybody hit me up on, on Instagram. DMS are always open and I have enough boundaries to tell you if like now this is something you’ve seen before, but I’m here to help in any way that I can. Awesome. Well,

thank you so much. We appreciate you. No, thank you.

What do you think? Are you I’ve? I feel like, again, we could have talked for forever. There’s so many great things to talk about, um, with avoiding burnout that Erin can share, but, um, do you feel like you have some more, like some tools to. Yeah,

I do. There was definitely some things, um, you know, the whole rule of seven thing where you don’t really learn something until you’ve heard it seven times.

Like there’s some of the stuff that she said that I’ve definitely like heard before, but I think, I don’t know if it’s the fact that it’s like possibly the, like the seventh time I’ve heard it or. Possibly just that, like, I’m literally like feeling like on the edge of this burnout phase right now that like, I think a lot of things stuck with me.

I wrote, I wrote a few notes. I liked, I really, the thing I think that I’m taking away from this the most is the, um, setting up intention for the day, because that feels very different than just even, even though like I’ve been doing the top three, which we talked about in episode one, um, on setting goals, but I.

That has helped, but I think the setting up intention for me feels a little bit more like, what kind of person do I want to be today? Like feelings as an Enneagram three it’s, it’s hard to like tap into that. The feeling thing is like, feels, feels harder for me to tap into that. So to be able to, to go, okay, how do I feel like I want to blank because blank at the beginning of the day, I think could possibly be a game changer.

So. That is TBD,

but yeah, it was. So that was once we got to the point in the coaching of, of talking about that, that was like my, I had homework at the end of each session for the week. Yeah. Yeah. I get

my homework too. It seems weird, but it’s good.

Yeah, it helps me keep on track and everything, but, um, I think that really did help me.

Like I remember one day specifically, like I set my intention, it was I think, a Friday. Um, so on Fridays I sometimes feel like I have a little more room to, you know, like it’s the end of the week. I can kind of get myself a break if I need to. Um, but I set my intention to be like, I want to feel well both.

Um, like I achieved something, but also like, Feel restful at the same time. And I actually feel like I really, really achieved that on that day because I did a bunch of like, um, like I worked really efficiently and well and got a lot done in the morning. And then I kind of felt like, man, I, I do need some rest.

And so I allowed myself to do that in the afternoon. Whereas before I think I probably like if I got into that point of. Giving myself the rest in the afternoon. I probably would’ve felt really guilty about it, but I didn’t because I was like, this was my intention for the day to be, um, productive and restful.

So, um, It. Yeah, that has just really helped me and even going into like, you know, for me, um, the biggest part of like my projects is actually being with clients on their illumine day. Um, and if I like mentally go into that, so one of the things that, um, that came up in my coaching with Aaron is like me putting those expectations on myself rather than my client doing that.

And a lot of times I come away from, um, From photographing and aluminum. And I’m just like, Oh my gosh, like this went wrong. I wanted this to happen this way. Like, I just feel really negative about the experience on my end. Um, and it’s really, it’s not like the client went away being like, Hey, you didn’t do this.

How I expect them or something like that. Yeah. It’s literally just me. Um, but by, by setting the intentions and shifting them from. I’m going to do this thing and I’m going to do it perfectly kind of a thing. Um, but instead being like, you know, today, I just really want to serve my clients in the best way that I can be for them in any, any way that they need and stuff like that.

It just, um, it shifts your expectations. And also like at the end of the day, your feeling of success

as when you feel lighter, Cause it’s not like the weight of all the things that you didn’t do. It’s like the satisfaction of the things that you did do. Yeah. Yeah. So mindset, mindset shifts are super, super duper important.

So I’m really glad that you, uh, I’m really glad that you found her and used her and brought that idea. I think that it was very, um, I mean, obviously. Pandemic pandemic pandemic. Yes. It’s, uh, you know, a thing and need needed, but even outside of the 20, 20, 20, 21 dynamic, I think this, this content can be evergreen.

Like this is something that people will always need to hear and always need advice on. And so I think it’s going to be a really valuable episode. Absolutely. All right. So that is our episode for today. Be sure to leave us a review on iTunes. You can always send us a note on Instagram at design speaks podcast.

Find us at design space, podcast.com for all the show notes. Some episodes from the past design speaks is brought to you and produced by Kenneth Kniffen and Dakota cook. A shout out to Colin from Vesperteen. Design speaks is a project of Brandi Sea and it is recorded in the shadow of the watermelon pink Sandia mountains near Albuquerque, New Mexico, and as always.

Thank you for watching. Thank you for listening till next time. .